💖 The real beauty within: society's broken standards

Who decided you weren’t good enough? Who gave them the right to tell you that your lips aren’t full enough, your hips are too wide, or your smile lines aren’t ‘right’?

Let's be real: society's beauty standards are completely bonkers. They’re a constantly shifting target, dictated by what's trending on social media and the latest celebrity look. We’re fed this impossible ideal, obsessed with preventing ageing, being perfectly slim, and having utterly flawless features. Honestly, it’s a recipe for self-doubt, leaving us stuck in a miserable cycle of comparing ourselves to totally unrealistic, imaginary expectations.

This relentless, draining chase for ‘perfection’ does the opposite of what we intend. It actually drags your self-worth through the gutter. You keep judging yourself, and you start to believe you’re simply not good enough or worthy unless you manage to conform.

I totally get it. I was the worst culprit! I absolutely loved using filters. The flawless skin, the chiselled nose, the huge, bright eyes, it felt amazing. But here’s the kicker: that wasn't me. I fell head over heels for this airbrushed, digital version of myself, and when I looked in the mirror, I didn't recognise the person staring back. Worse, I started to genuinely dislike her.

This kind of internal battle can become harmful. It’s what leads us to restrictive dieting, exhausting ourselves with excessive exercise, or even thinking we need to resort to injectables and surgeries just to 'fix' what wasn't broken in the first place. All this, because we haven't made our 'outer shell' perfect!

I had to stop using those apps and filters that painted that flawless picture. I mean, come on, who is actually that flawless? All the people on the red carpet, films and media have a whole team of professionals working on them!

When it comes to our mental wellbeing and sanity, we have to grasp this fundamental truth: your true beauty lies far beyond the shell. It’s not in your skin, your hair, or your nails. It resides deep within; in your heart, your mind, and your soul.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get it! We do this conforming thing because we’re scared of social rejection. Our brains are hardwired to think that "not fitting in" or standing out is a risk. That fear alone can set off our fight, flight, freeze, or fawn survival mode. So, to soothe that panic, we think we need to reduce the risk: we conform, we fit in, we mould ourselves to fit these ridiculous standards. It’s as if failing to meet them means we’re rubbish, we’ve failed, and we’re not worthy.

It’s completely mad, isn’t it? In our desperation not to be rejected by others, we end up completely rejecting ourselves. We suppress the wonderful, unique person we are just to try and 'win people over'.

So today, I’m asking you this; If you were looking for a babysitter for your most precious little one, who would you choose?

Would you pick the person with the most fashionable haircut and perfect teeth? Or the person with the kind heart and a truly warm soul?

You’d go for the latter, right? Because they are a good, kind person. The great hair is just....well, great hair. So why on earth do we, as a society, put such a ridiculously huge emphasis on the superficial?

If this blog has any aim, it’s to help plant the seed that societies standards are the ones that are wrong, not you. You are perfect just the way you are, and you should never have to mould or change yourself just to be accepted.

If this blog resonated with you, and your not sure where to start. Therapy can be a powerful guide to help you break this cycle and rediscover your brilliant, authentic self. It’s not a quick fix, but a foundational journey of self-discovery. It offers a safe space to finally unpack those deep-seated beliefs and external voices that convinced you that you weren't enough.

When the outside world is loudly telling you to change, therapy helps you pivot and turn your focus inwards. It gives you the insights and tools you need to understand your patterns, wholeheartedly embrace your 'imperfections,' and genuinely start loving yourself from the inside out.

Stop chasing the unrealistic external ideal that will always move the goalposts. Instead, invest in yourself and start building a real, lasting connection with the person you were always meant to be.

You are already enough.

So, I’ll leave you with this final thought: Is it possible that society itself is the one that's sick? Does anyone - anyone - have the genuine right to judge your appearance and deem you less than?