Toxic Relationships: Beyond the Obvious and Their Impact on Mental Health

Surrounding ourselves with the "right" people is crucial for our mental and emotional wellbeing. These are individuals who uplift, support, and inspire us. They make us feel valued, respected, and accepted.

Todays blog is a kind reminder to consider the important role toxic relationships have on our mental health. Whether these are romantic, familial, or platonic.

When we hear the word "toxic," we often envision extreme cases of abuse or manipulation. However, toxic relationships can also exist on the other end of the spectrum, subtly draining our energy, self esteem and well-being. These relationships may not involve overt acts of harm, but they can still be detrimental to our mental and emotional health.

It's important to recognise that toxic relationships can take many forms, and their impact can be just as harmful, even if less obvious. These relationships may involve constant criticism or judgement,  emotional manipulation, and even imbalanced or lack of support. They can leave us feeling drained, isolated, and unsure of ourselves.

By understanding the different ways toxic relationships can manifest, we can better identify them and take steps to protect ourselves from their harmful effects.

Recognising Unhealthy Relationships:

One of the clearest indicators of an unhealthy relationship is how we feel after spending time together. Do we leave feeling energised and inspired, or do we feel exhausted, rejected, or constantly walking on eggshells? If the latter is a constant truth, it maybe a sign that the relationship is toxic.

Signs of Toxicity Within Relationships

• One-sided support: In a healthy relationship, support flows both ways. In a toxic  relationship, we may find ourself constantly offering support to a friend while receiving little or none in return.

• Jealousy and competition: A toxic friend may be unable to celebrate our successes or achievements due to jealousy or a sense of competition. We may observe a friend's consistent support at difficult times, yet their absence or silence during positive times or achievements will be noticeable.

• Constant criticism or judgement: A toxic friend may be overly critical of our choices, opinions, or behaviour. This may well manifest as passive aggressive comments or "jokes" at our expense.

• Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone tries to make us doubt our own reality or perception of events. For example  "You're too sensitive," "You're making a big deal out of nothing," or "Stop being dramatic." This can lead us doubting our own feelings and perceptions.  

• Emotional manipulation: Toxic friends may use emotional manipulation to control or exploit us. For example "If you do that, I'll never talk to you again." or "if you loved me, you would do it." This tactic tries to control our behaviour by instilling guilt and fear. Which often leads us prioritising the needs of others above our own.

• Lack of accountability: Often manifests as a refusal to take responsibility for one's actions, minimising impact, shifting the blame onto others or denying wrongdoing. This can often leave us feeling invalidated or diminishing our own thoughts or emotions.

  
  

The Impact on Mental Health

• Increased stress and anxiety: The constant emotional turmoil and uncertainty in a toxic relationship can lead to high levels of stress and anxiety.

• Depression: Toxic relationships can contribute to feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness, which can lead to depression.

• Low self-esteem: Constant criticism and manipulation can erode your self-esteem and confidence.

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships: Toxic relationships can make it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships in the future.

  
  

How to Break Free:

Breaking free from toxic relationships requires a balanced approach. While it's essential to prioritise our well-being, empathy, kindness and understanding can also be powerful tools. Remember, that a person's unhealthy behaviours will likely stem from their own struggles, insecurities, or trauma. Everyone is fighting their own battle.

Breaking free may involve:

• Setting boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries can help protect yourself from toxic impact.

• Seeking support: Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide emotional support and guidance.

• Prioritising your own well-being: Make self-care a priority and focus on activities that promote your mental and emotional health.

  
  

  Most importantly,

• Defining what it is you want and value in a relationship: consider the qualities that make you feel supported, respected, and understood. Think about the kind of friend who would encourage your growth, celebrate your successes and engage in open, and accountable communication. Maybe consider what makes you a good friend, this may help you to understand your values and expectations.

  
  

Breaking free from a toxic relationship can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you deserve healthy and supportive relationships, that enrich your live, not ones that deplete them. By recognising the signs of a toxic relationships and taking steps to protect your mental health, you can create a more fulfilling life with a positive social circle.

Therapy: A Path to Self-Worth, Empowerment and Healthy Boundaries

Don't quite feel ready for this journey? Remember you are not alone!

Therapy can be a useful tool and transformative process for individuals seeking to break free from toxic relationships. Through a safe, protected space, you can rupture people-pleasing behaviours, build self-worth, and set healthy boundaries. Discover your true values, challenge negative beliefs, and create more fulfilling relationships.

Are you ready to address your underlying psychological factors that contribute to these patterns? Do you strive for fulfilling and authentic relationships? Therapy can support you to achieve this. Contact today for a free consultation.